Its almost funny the way things work out. Almost like it was exactly the opposite of what you planned. Everyone would tell me, “Oh it’s for the better.” Or things like, “This will all make sense someday.” Well, I’m done sitting around waiting for someday. Someday is today.
Chapter 1
School is definitely not my first choice on how to spend a day. In fact, I think it is my last choice. I’d rather swim in shark filled water than spend my perfectly good day here. No, I am not being dramatic, I just have nothing here for me. No crushes, no groupies, no favorite subjects, nothing. I have potential, or had it anyways, to be a popular. That’s what I was told by miss popular herself when I tried to sit with them freshman year.
“You’re just not THERE yet, Adena.” Lana had said.
“Um, Where?” I asked.
“To the state we are.”
Her whole “group” looked at me like I was some sad little girl who couldn’t help herself. It was obvious I was missing something, I just had no idea what it was.
“So I cant sit here because I’m not up to your “state”? What does that even mean?” I asked Lana.
“I know it doesn’t make sense now but it will someday. You have potential.”
And as she turned back to her friends, I knew that was going to be the last time I talked to her. Without hating her guts anyways.
As for my parents, well don’t you think most parents would actually be happy to have their kids to stay home on a Friday night. That way they stay safe and don’t get into any trouble, no drugs, alcohol, you know the whole deal. But not my parents. They think something is wrong with me. Which I know there is something wrong, it’s called personality, or lack there of. Mom always wanted me to be the popular one and Dad always wanted me to get out there and have fun with friends and experience life. So basically I completely failed both of them. I wish I had a sister or a brother to put some of the pressure on, but I was an only child. The pressure was all on me.
Most kids who have brothers or sisters want nothing more than to be an only child. Not me, I would give anything in the whole world to have someone else with me. I have my dog Red that I tell everything to, but he doesn’t talk back so it kind of sucks. And not only does it suck that he doesn’t talk back, but half the time I have to go outside if I want to talk to him. Red is a part time inside and part time outside dog, due to fleas. If Red starts scratching or we wake up with bug bites all over, well he goes outside for weeks at a time. Of course, I always try to sneak him in at night only because I know he’s cold out there, being the little Beagle that he is, he doesn’t have all kinds of fur to keep him warm. But of course when I do something nice and let him in so he’s not cold, it always comes back to bite me. Literally. Flea Bites EVERYWHERE.
So I’ve got no friends, no siblings, and a dog who doesn’t talk back. And to top it all off, no boyfriend. Nope, never had a boyfriend in my whole life. No first date, and sadly no first kiss. There is one guy across the street who I kind of like, ok really like, but we haven’t hung out since we were like five. I tell you, when I get up the nerve, one of these days I am going to go straight over to his house and say, “Hey I like you.” And of course he’d probably slam the door in my face, but hey, at least I got it out there.
You see, Crest County is not the most “happening” place. Sure we have a bowling alley, and we have mini golf and we even have a movie theatre. But that’s about it. So even if Keith did end up giving me a chance, well, there would really be nothing for us to do. We’d go mini golfing for the first date, and bowling the second. We’d probably end up seeing a movie for the third, fourth, and even fifth date. But after that it would be a completely awkward situation. One of those, “What do you want to do”, “I don’t know what do you want to do”, “I don’t know what ever you want to do” and that would thus lead to the destruction of the entire relationship. So I’ve basically decided that going straight over to Keith and telling him the truth about how I feel (Someday Situation No. 1) will not happen.
Chapter 2
Sleep comes easy for me. In fact sleep is my favorite thing to do at times like these (being alone). Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t always the outcast, I actually had friends, I actually was popular. That is until I graduated middle school and went on to high school. I had been really, really excited to start. Because high school meant boys that weren’t afraid of girls having cooties, and since Keith and I never talked, I wanted one of those boys. But the first day of high school came and I didn’t fit it. Not even a little. It was nothing like I expected, I was no longer the top, I wasn’t even the middle, I was the bottom. Worse than the bottom, if that’s even possible. So every year I would try to dig myself out of my hole, but of course, I just went down even further.
I try not to think about what I could have done different, or why no one even gave me a chance, but those thoughts led nowhere. Unfortunately there is nothing that can be done now, I just have to deal with my fate.
“Addie, come down here!” I hear my mom calling.
Because she still thinks that I am asleep I can waste a few more minutes up in my room.
“Adele Elizabeth, I know you are awake get down here RIGHT now.”
Or not.
